Purpose Over Pressure: Building Worthwhile Relationships God’s Way

Romans 12:2, Proverbs 19:2

We are in a generation of all round pressure. Financial pressure, societal pressure, popularity pressure, acceptability pressure, emotional pressure, educational pressure, mental pressure, career pressure, marital pressure, even our beans are under pressure, the pressure pot. In this age of all round pressure, God wants those of us who are kingdom people, those of us who belong to Zion as our theme is about Zion’s victory, God wants us not to be under the pressure of this age but to be over the pressure by purpose. Purpose over pressure: Building worthwhile relationships God’s way.

Let’s read through our text: ROM 12:2, PROV 19:2

How can we build worthwhile relationships God’s way?

1. Building worthwhile relationships begins with acknowledging the source.

Every building we see today, how did it begin? It began in the mind of someone. That is where it first began. What the building will be for, the purpose of the building begins in the mind, whether it will be a school building, a church, a hospital, a court, the first place where that building existed is in the mind of someone. Marriage, the foremost picture of human relationships (the most powerful and intimate by purpose and design), for instance, also began with God (Gen 2:18). The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”). This passage shows that God did not design man to be alone. He designed man for relationships, and in His thought, relationships are to aid destiny fulfilment. God took the first initiative to make that happen for man. He did that so man can reflect HIS relational image (And God said, let us make man in our image…Gen 1:26). From creation, God Himself was not alone. He made man in relation with others.

Relationship, therefore, (especially Marriage)  is God’s idea, not man’s. Everyone must acknowledge this, not acknowledging that relationship is God’s idea can be likened to a theft of intellectual property and it will result in failure. It was planned by Him from the beginning, it wasn’t a result of the fall of man, neither was it man’s prayer or suggestion to God.

Acknowledging the source is the first step in building a worthwhile relationship, because every building begins from the mind/heart. So in your heart acknowledge that it is from God and that beyond your quest to build a worthwhile relationship, God is much more interested in you having a relationship that lasts and fulfills kingdom (Zion) purpose, not one you get into by whatever pressure.

2. Building worthwhile relationships is activated by understanding that there is a correct pattern/design for a worthwhile relationship.

Once the building has been conceived and the purpose known, the next thing is to proceed to the pattern, what we call the architectural design. For the building of a worthwhile relationship God’s way, we must understand that there is a pattern. This pattern also is clearly stated by God. The challenge at this point is that it is not only God that has pattern, the devil also has pattern/design so our text in Rom 12:2 says

Rom 12:2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Whereas God intended worthwhile relationships between Him and man, and between man and man (in marriage relationship for instance), recall that the devil came in like a friend in Genesis 3. Eve listened to him as a friend but this “unfriendly friend” (a foe actually) introduced a pattern which hitherto distorted the worthwhile relationships intended by God. What was that pattern? It was the pattern of choosing based on eye sight, not God’s sight (Gen 3:5-6). From that time, till date, that pattern remains the worldly pattern.

So Romans 12:2 warns us:

Don’t be conformed to the pattern of this world (a pattern of choosing based on the eye sight and not God sight). But be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Beloved, there is a pattern for worthwhile relationships. That pattern is not in sight, it is not in the world. It is in God. We must, therefore, be able to test and approve what God’s will is.

That is why when you are looking for a partner you must hear God, you must be led by Him. That is God’s pattern, you must know what is God’s pleasing will. Don’t let the world pressure you to make choices by sight.

Prov 3:3:6 KJV in all thy ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct thy paths. NIV in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.

We can’t use the pattern of the world and achieve kingdom (zion) results, it is like using the architectural design of a face-me-i-face-you building to achieve the building of a duplex, it’s not going to work. God’s pattern of a worthwhile relationship is being led by Him.

Rom 8:14 For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.

In building a worthwhile relationship we must be led by God, not by age, not by comparing ourselves with our colleagues, not by the pattern the society is currently setting, which says go with the person who is more financially stable, who comes from an influential family, the person who have built houses, have companies, have good ride and a good amount in investment. We must not be led by things, but by God.

Once the source of a worthwhile relationship is acknowledged, and the pattern / design is clearly understood, then we are ready to begin construction. The next thing in building worthwhile relationships is:

3. Paying attention to the foundation of salvation and personal consecration.

2 Tim 2:19 Nevertheless, God’s solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: “The Lord knows those who are his,” and, “Everyone who confesses the name of the Lord must turn away from wickedness (depart from iniquity KJV, depart from unrighteousness ASV). ”

The strength of a building begins with the strength of its foundation. What foundation is needed for building worthwhile relationships? It is the foundation of being born again. Offering your body to God as a living sacrifice continually. Being built up yourself on the solid foundation, Christ! Why is this foundation important? It is because Christ is the only rock solid foundation upon which once a life is built on it, it has every opportunity to stand. This is the foundation that guarantees that the building will not sink.

Every relationship that is not built on this foundation can not achieve God’s purpose. What is that foundation? Christ! When you hear people say well the person i want to get married to (or that is my best friend) is nice, caring, intelligent and financially stable but the only thing is that he has not given his life to Christ, that only thing will be the root cause of a disaster going somewhere to happen.

The foundation is that God must know you and God must know your spouse to be (or that your intimate friend), this happens at salvation. Those in worthwhile relationships depart from unrighteousness as a matter of imperative (not wish). Some will say since we are God’s will for each other, then we can indulge in romance, sexual intimacy before marriage, that is building on a foundation that will sink. One litmus test to carry out if you want to know God’s will is to ask:  Is he/she genuinely saved (born again)? Is he/she genuinely pursuing righteousness and turning away from unrighteousness?

Just as for a building, once the foundation is carefully and correctly laid, whatever edifice is desired can begin, so it is for a worthwhile relationship.

4. Worthwhile relationships grow by structuring your life for responsibility.

Now that you have that foundation of being in Christ, you have to build the structure. Structuring your life for responsibility in Spiritual growth, personal growth, emotional maturity, discipline, wholesome living in God. These are the structures for healthy and lasting relationships. Marriage is not an escape from loneliness, indiscipline, lack of structure and order in one’s life. Rather marriage will expose who you truly are.

Take responsibility to become the person to whom God will say it is not good for this man to be alone.

Take responsibility to become the person to whom God will say I will make you a helper suitable for my son.

Take responsibility to be a friend who sticks closer than a brother. Beloved, this is a matter of responsibility (see Prov 18:24).

This statement of “it is not good for a man to be alone” was not said when God was forming the man from the dust (the formation stage), it was not said when God breathed into man, in fact it was not said when man became a living being. This statement came from God when man discovered the purpose for his creation (Gen 2:15) and God did not give him a wife until he began to take responsibility (Gen 2:19-21a); Take responsibility for himself, his environment and the purpose of dominion for which he was created.

For marriage relationships especially (even for others), discover purpose and begin to build, begin to grow, your partner (or friend/colleagues) will meet you at your duty post.

Don’t be hasty or under pressure because haste makes waste. If you have not discovered God’s purpose for you and you are looking for a partner, you can pick up a pain in the process.

PURPOSE BEFORE PARTNER leads to PEACE

PARTNER BEFORE PURPOSE leads to PAIN, then you hear things like she does not see my vision, he does not understand my passion, then division occurs.

5. Finally, building worthwhile relationships continues (all life-long) by cooperating with God every step of the way.

There is a “finishing” experience in building worthwhile relationships. It is an experience of peace, joy, harmony, growth and holistic fulfilment beyond what the world and the things therein can give. It is experienced by those who heed the foregoing charge. Meanwhile, for this “finishing experience” to continue till death, cooperating with God every step of the way is imperative. Your cooperation with God every step of the way  adds beauty and colour to your relationship. Don’t allow the world to pressure you out of this mold (pattern). Are you already enjoying worthwhile relationships (in marriage, courtship, friendship, fellowship, …) KEEP BUILDING

It is just like in a building, whereby finishing is done last and continuously maintained.

In sum, I have charged you that if you must rise by PURPOSE OVER PRESSURE: BUILDING WORTHWHILE RELATIONSHIPS GOD’S WAY calls for:

1. Acknowledging God as the source
2. Aligning with God’s pattern
3. Paying attention to the foundation of salvation and personal consecration.
4. Structuring your life for responsibility
5. cooperating with God every step of the way.

Shalom and best wishes as you build worthwhile relationships God’s way.

Let us pray…

Excerpt from message preached at the Youth Fellowship, First Baptist Church Ikeja, Lagos State, Nigeria on Saturday, April 25, 2026 by Oludayo Ipadeola.